Dreams and Visions!!

One of the rather distressing side-effects to my problems at work is that I have been assaulted almost nightly by nightmares about the collegue at work I am having difficulty with. I say more about it here. I was driving back from a night shift this morning listening to Isi de Gersigny at the "Grace and Glory Conference" in Hong Kong and she made a comment about dreams that I registered. She was speaking about how sometimes in dreams men can appear - partners, husbands - and she commented that her husband Fini often appears in her dreams. She said she has noticed in her experience that the appearance of such men in dreams tend to represent God.

She made many other amazing comments - the notes from her session are here - and I drove on home and went straight to bed and fell pretty much straight asleep! Anyhow I had a number of vivid dreams and none of them were about Acorns - thank God! The one that stuck in my mind and I remembered when I woke up featured two men in particular. One of them was my former pastor - Dr Stanley Jebb. The other was Stuart - a recent entry in this year's UK Big Brother.

While I was at the gym I was pondering exactly what those two men in particular were in my dream and I reflected how grateful I was for Isi de Gersigny's wise teaching that brought light to this. If I hadn't heard her comments in her sermon I most probably would have felt guilty and condemned particularly about dreaming about Stuart. In past years I do quite frequently dream about men who have quite fit bodies as I do have quite a low self-esteem and have longed for years to have a physique I could be proud of. But in light of Isi's comments I thought this;

Both men had qualities that I greatly admire, long for and love and deeply long to nuture in my own life. Stanley Jebb (pictured in the middle - his wife Shirley is on the left) has one of the most incredible minds that I have ever encountered in my life. He has razor sharp logic and a passionate determination to leave no theological stone unturned. He has a love for God that is rare to find these days and walks in a relationship with God that is wonderful.

Stuart from Big Brother on the other hand has an incredibly fit physique that is the envy of many (including myself!). He has obviously developed an intense fitness regime with amazing results as well as being a man who defied the "cliche" male image. He was very sensative on Big Brother, displayed incredible respect for the women on the show and spoke often about his young 4 year old daughter who he obviously adored.

Initially I wondered whether this dream was simply a projection of my desire to have Stanley's mind and intellect with Stuart's body and physique - but remembering what Isi de Gersigny preached I began to get the sense that God was trying to impress on me that the appearance of these two men in my dream was actually HIM. We cannot see God maybe with our physical eyes, although I do increasingly believe we can expect to see His glory. But maybe this dream was a way of Him communicating to me in His grace and His love that HE possesses those qualities that I long for. A way of Him communicating something new about Himself that I haven't thought about - a way of Him speaking to me and saying that this is Him - and I am His son! His child! His beloved!

I should mention that for the first time in weeks I woke up feeling positive and cheerful and loved - a feeling that really highlights why Isi de Gersigny calls dreams; "Heaven's kiss".